Mama à Mama: The single best advice for new Moms

First Time Mom Advice

If you are a Mother then you know all too well that there doesn’t seem to be any shortage (or lack of tact, perhaps) when it comes to giving new baby advice. From sleep and food, to weight, to poop, you’ve likely heard it all.

I’ll confess, I love to learn the ins and outs of everything, and the topic of motherhood was not spared. Thinking back to when all-things-baby were a new world to me, it’s likely that my enthusiasm might have come off wrong– dare I say a bit of a know-it-all? I’m sorry. 

So, what’s the one piece of advice that we should be sharing with fellow Mamas everywhere?

A few weeks ago, I met a soon-to-be first time mom. We chatted briefly and then she asked me– in a tone that could only be amounted to a courtesy ask– “So, what’s your best piece of new Mom advice?” Maybe it was her unenthusiastic tone, or perhaps what seemed a forced smile as she politely asked my advice, but I could almost sense that she was asking me out of obligation. This Mama has already heard it all.

I took a moment to pause and sincerely thought about what matters in the BIG picture for this new Mom. Is it a product? A method? A list of “don’ts” or “do’s”?

It’s okay to figure out how things work for you.

It’s okay to  navigate the new Mom stage however you feel you need to. It’s okay to be insecure, to be curious, and to be overwhelmed. It’s even okay to google everything. Although often not recommended, sometimes this task of gathering information and opinions privately can help you process your new role.

You might become the ruler of the naps. You might have no schedule.

You might make everyone be quiet. You might not.

You might take your baby everywhere. You might stay home. You might be hand-washing maniac. A clock watcher. Whatever it is that you need to do, and how you learn that process, it’s all okay.

I reflected on when I first became a Mom. I remember the overload of well-intended advice. As mothers, fathers, and caregivers, we are eager to share our trials and tribulations, and that’s totally okay too. I am a huge believer that it takes a village.

I also learned that I needed to explore how motherhood might work for me. Sometimes you need to take a step back and allow yourself to feel okay learning new things and find what resonates with you, perhaps through trial and error. It’s easy to start to feel like you are constantly being judged for simply trying to navigate your new role. “My babies did this …”  “Don’t do that…” “Try this…” “You need this…” I’ve doled out this very advice on many occasions.

If you are the seasoned Mama, keep on sharing your advice, just remember what those early days felt like and that every Mom and every baby is unique.

No two journeys are the same, and sometimes the support goes a lot further than the list. xo

Photo by the talented Blink Photography

Mama Writes

30 comments

  1. This is exactly the advice I got from a mom of 6 when I told her I was struggling with 2!! She said to do what’s best for your fam and not compare yourself to others. I love what you wrote!!

    1. Thanks so much for your encouragement Julie! It’s so hard not to compare yourself to others, but so important to be mindful of this! xo

  2. I’m so glad I read this! ♥️ I’ll be sharing it everywhere!! It’s so freaking hard being a mom. There are so many expectations and judgments. Every single choice we make, there will be a group of people who is convinced we’re doing it wrong. But we’ll go crazy if we try to make everyone else happy or approve of us. We just have to do what’s right for US and OUR family. And leave everything else. Thank you so much for this post ♥️

    1. Oh Brooke, your comment makes me so happy! Thank you for reading and sharing. I agree SO much- it’s hard enough without the judgement. Just do YOU! XOXO

  3. YES! This is exactly my reply when I kept getting the endless list of advice from other well meaning people in my life. Every mom should have the chance to figure it out.

  4. This is such freeing advice and should be applied to every area of life, honestly! I’m always open to sharing/receiving what has worked for myself/others but everyone is different!

  5. This resonates with me so much. I recall the overload of information when I first became a Mom and these words would have been lovely to hear. Thank you so much for sharing

    1. Thanks you, Allyssa! I remember that time too, wanting to learn what my baby needed but the outside noise and opinions were so overwhelming. xo

  6. I’m not even a mama yet, but I saw this title and had to give it a read. I love it. As someone that wants to be a mom one day, but it feels like so many people in my life have already been there – done that – kinda thing, I’m terrified of the overload of advice I’ll be getting. At the end of the day, it’s so nice to hear that every first-time mama has to go through those learning stages of what works for them and their baby. <3

    1. I love your comment Katherine. Don’t worry, it’s completely normal to feel this way! I found that learning stage to be so important for me. xo

    1. Thanks Sarah! It’s something I really had to remind myself of when passing on advice, because it is so easy to offload allll the info. Thanks for your comment!

  7. I love this advice. No two journeys are the same for each mom — or even with your own children. Getting a million pieces of advice thrown at me has really made me think twice before I open my mouth with pregnant/new moms 🙂

    1. Hi Emma! That is SO true- my kids were so different from each other and no two things worked the same. Thanks for your comment!

  8. I totally agree with your take here, “It’s okay to navigate the new Mom stage however you feel you need to. It’s okay to be insecure, to be curious, and to be overwhelmed.” It’s tough for first time moms, so not judging them but instead supporting them how they need to be supported is so important.

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