If you are a Mother then you know all too well that there doesn’t seem to be any shortage (or lack of tact, perhaps) when it comes to giving new baby advice. From sleep and food, to weight, to poop, you’ve likely heard it all.
I’ll confess, I love to learn the ins and outs of everything, and the topic of motherhood was not spared. Thinking back to when all-things-baby were a new world to me, it’s likely that my enthusiasm might have come off wrong– dare I say a bit of a know-it-all? I’m sorry.
So, what’s the one piece of advice that we should be sharing with fellow Mamas everywhere?
A few weeks ago, I met a soon-to-be first time mom. We chatted briefly and then she asked me– in a tone that could only be amounted to a courtesy ask– “So, what’s your best piece of new Mom advice?” Maybe it was her unenthusiastic tone, or perhaps what seemed a forced smile as she politely asked my advice, but I could almost sense that she was asking me out of obligation. This Mama has already heard it all.
I took a moment to pause and sincerely thought about what matters in the BIG picture for this new Mom. Is it a product? A method? A list of “don’ts” or “do’s”?
It’s okay to figure out how things work for you.
It’s okay to navigate the new Mom stage however you feel you need to. It’s okay to be insecure, to be curious, and to be overwhelmed. It’s even okay to google everything. Although often not recommended, sometimes this task of gathering information and opinions privately can help you process your new role.
You might become the ruler of the naps. You might have no schedule.
You might make everyone be quiet. You might not.
You might take your baby everywhere. You might stay home. You might be hand-washing maniac. A clock watcher. Whatever it is that you need to do, and how you learn that process, it’s all okay.
I reflected on when I first became a Mom. I remember the overload of well-intended advice. As mothers, fathers, and caregivers, we are eager to share our trials and tribulations, and that’s totally okay too. I am a huge believer that it takes a village.
I also learned that I needed to explore how motherhood might work for me. Sometimes you need to take a step back and allow yourself to feel okay learning new things and find what resonates with you, perhaps through trial and error. It’s easy to start to feel like you are constantly being judged for simply trying to navigate your new role. “My babies did this …” “Don’t do that…” “Try this…” “You need this…” I’ve doled out this very advice on many occasions.
If you are the seasoned Mama, keep on sharing your advice, just remember what those early days felt like and that every Mom and every baby is unique.
No two journeys are the same, and sometimes the support goes a lot further than the list. xo
Photo by the talented Blink Photography